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It’s official: Americans rule the world at eating – Asylum UK | For All Mankind

It was one of the sporting world’s greatest finals. Two perfectly matched gladiators facing each other down on the biggest stage of their career.

No, not the tennis. (Although that was good too.) The world hot-dog eating contest on Coney Island, Brooklyn, NY, where all-American hero Joey Chestnut shovelled his way to victory on July 4th.

The 24-year-old Chestnut was facing his long-time competitive eating nemesis, Japanese former-champion Takeru Kobayashi, and tensions were high. Several thousand spectators turned out to watch the contest, which was televised on American news channels around the country.

Chestnut ate harder and faster than ever before, but after swallowing 59 hot-dogs in 10 minues, both he and Kobayashi were tied for the championship. In the end it all came down to a 5 hot-dog deathmatch tie-break, in which Chestnut (just) came out on top.

“I knew I’d be able to do it and push through the pain,” he told the crowd. “I was pushed by the audience. I love you New York.”

To celebrate America’s victory, here is a gallery of the world’s greatest competitive eating photography. How long before this is featured at the Olympics?

Chinese SWAT on Segways – Asylum UK | For All Mankind

Nothing could be more useful than a SWAT team on Segways. First, they can go up to 20 miles an hour without getting tired. Second, they can carry more equipment. What could possibly go wrong?

Wait, what? The ability to easily step sideways, crawl on the ground, hide behind cars and kick in doors? We can’t imagine a scenario where a SWAT team would need to do those things.

In fact, we have a few other offbeat transportation tools the police might want to look into:

– Golf carts. This would save on fuel costs and police could receive training from Wentworth retirement community residents.

– Tactical stilts. Stilts would allow police to see into second-story windows and serve as a disguise in the event of a circus parade.

– Roller skates. Nothing says, “I want to play a positive role in the community” like the authorities getting around in the same fashion as 4th-grade girls.

Hottest fans of Euro 2008 — Post Match Special – Asylum UK | For All Mankind

So it’s all over for another four years. Spain won a professional — if slightly dull — final against the Germans, and now everyone except for the Spanish wishes they never took part in the damn thing.

(Except for us, of course, who didn’t get the chance.)

Still, as outsiders, we Brits have had a unique chance to see the tournament for what it really was. A celebration of the beautiful game, and a series of television shots of highly attractive ladies waving flags in the crowd.

On balance we have quite enjoyed it all. So to celebrate with us, let’s take a look at some of the hottest fans we managed to find in the crowd this year.

If you know of any we missed, let us know in the comments. And for more hot fans, compare this list to the preview we made before the tournament.

Our day in Dumfries – Burnley FC – Clarets MAD

I don’t really go along with all this Blackburn & Burnley malarkey; instead I prefer to think we’ve moved on from having them as rivals and leave them to console themselves with Preston & Blackpool.

However, some of the photos on the Clarets Mad website are worth looking out, they simply don’t do much to help themselves do they? Look at the pics yourselves, particularly the group on pic 7, front row – didn’t realise they were re-making “Wrong Turn”…….

Record-breaking boob job banned over safety fears – Asylum UK | For All Mankind

A controversial operation which gave American model Maxi Mounds the world’s largest breasts has been banned over safety fears.

Mounds, a stripper and porn actress (who would have guessed?) is famous for her 61MMM size breasts, which were recognised in 2005 by the Guinness Book of World Records as the largest artificial globes on the globe.

However, the massive boobies are the result of a dangerous, and disgusting-sounding proceedure known as polypropylene string breast implants, where the aim is to continuously irritate the breast tissue so it fills with naturally-produced goo.

According to The Sun, the operation has been banned in America and the European Union because of fears over safety. It’s not clear if the operation has been banned recently, or if this story has just erupted based on a few quotes Mounds gave to some newspapers.

But who cares about journalistic integrity when it comes to breasts that size? We know they’re not sexy, but yet we can’t look away. It’s like an eclipse.

Jordan: Good riddance to football | Latest News | Football News from TEAMtalk

Crystal Palace chairman Simon Jordan has blasted the ‘arrogance’ of the football world as he prepares to turn his back on the game for good.

The Eagles supremo insists he has had enough of a sport he brands an “insidious, insipid, egotistical, greedy, self-motivated game”, and believes the problem starts right at the top with the likes of UEFA president Michel Platini.

“Michel Platini is going in front of the European Union to identify six sports which should have a special exclusion from human rights,” Jordan told the News of the World.

“But I look at it as another example of how arrogant football is – that it thinks it is above everything else.

“It thinks it’s above every other worker and industry in the world – because it’s football.

“When I leave football you will never see me involved in another club.

“The moment the door of Selhurst Park hits me, I will not be coming back.”

The last straw for Jordan was seeing a tribunal decree that Tottenham should pay the Eagles just an initial £700,000 for 16-year-old John Bostock.

And he blasted the agents who he believes are turning the heads of youngsters in a desperate hunt for cash.

“Agents are nasty scum,” he added. “They’re evil and divisive and pointless.

“They only survive because the rest of the sport is so corrupt and because leading football club people employ their sons in the job.

“In my opinion, no owner in their right mind would willingly invite an average agent into his academy.”

Cantona reveals managerial aim | Latest News | Football News from TEAMtalk

Former Manchester United forward Eric Cantona has set his sights on becoming the “greatest manager in the world”

Cantona is currently the coach of France’s beach soccer team but has plans to return to the conventional form of the game in future.

He revealed last month that he would only consider two jobs in management – with Manchester United or the England national side.

Cantona still has ambitions in football and he does not believe there is any point in settling for second best.

“I am very passionate about beach soccer, and my acting career,” the Frenchman told L’Equipe.

“But when I have done everything in those two passions, my next goal will be to become the greatest coach in the world.

“When you do something, it is to become the best, isn’t it?”

Cantona says Sir Alex Ferguson and Johan Cruyff have been the two most influential figures in his career.

“Are Manchester United and Alex Ferguson my key references? Yes, and Cruyff. He was a great player and a great coach, with a game perfectly set.”

Cantona added that he was disappointed with France at Euro 2008 after Raymond Domenech’s side bowed out in the group stages.

“Nowadays and for 15 years, French Football is playing unnaturally,” he said.

“We are a creators’ country, but we are not anymore. To me, French Football is 1984-1986 generation, the European Brazilians, not what I have seen during recent years.”

Today’s crush: Scarlett Johansson – Asylum UK | For All Mankind

We didn’t want to have a crush on Scarlett Johansson. It seemed a little too obvious; too Heat magazine. Who doesn’t have a crush on her?

But between her recent engagement, her upcoming girl-kiss with Penelope Cruz and her Tom Waits cover album turning out to actually be rather good, she’s everywhere we turn, beckoning us to fall in love with her sweet, sweet siren song.

And of course, there are two huge reasons to love Scarlett Johansson. We’re talking about “Lost in Translation” and “Ghost World,” gutter-brain. But the actress’s famous curves don’t hurt, either. Her Old Hollywood va-va-va-voom, husky voice and serious acting chops all combine to a create one seriously crushworthy woman.

Or maybe we just have a thing for actresses-turned-singers? Click here to check out a video of Scarlett performing her new single.

Sesame Street may be in it’s 39th year, but it’s still ‘down with the kids’ if this is anything to go by. Canadian singer Feist features in a preview of an upcoming show here, singing an amended version of her hit “1-2-3-4″ from last year.

More to the point, there really is something her about isn’t there? She’s pretty, cute, cheesy, fun, innocent looking and well, a tad foxy if you ask me – enjoy….